Lost in the maze of schedules, task sheets, and customer accounts are the small moments that remind you – your cleaning job can be fun! For me, some of the most joyous moments I’ve had at work had to do with customers’ pets. So I am going to tell you about three instances when pets made me laugh out loud or had the most insane reactions to my cleaning efforts.
Bribing A Huge Newf With Chips For The Sake Of Cleaning
Mary Higgins is one of my all-time favourite regular customers. She lives in a beautiful detached house in Winchmore Hill with her husband and two children. Well, one child, actually – her older son is already in college and living on his own.
Before my first visit, we discussed her cleaning requirements, and she mentioned the family owned a large dog. I assured her this would be fine and even forgot about it. When I arrived at her place a few days later, she opened the front door with an apologetic smile and, to my surprise, did not invite me in immediately. “My son usually walks Ralphie at this time, but he had extra practice today. So before I let you in, I must ask again – are you afraid of large dogs? Ralphie is very friendly, but some people feel uneasy around him because of his size.”
I was definitely not afraid, but the mention of size provoked my interest. Was it a Great Dane, Mastiff, or Saint Bernard? So I reassured Mary again, and we entered the house. I walked into the living room and stopped dead in my tracks. There was a bear on the floor! At least it looked like one.
It was my first of many encounters with Ralphie – a giant black Newfoundland who adopted me as his alternative stepmom. He was the most adorable, loving, aristocratically lazy dog I have ever seen. Oh, don’t get me wrong – Ralphie was a handful! He would give me a suspicious look whenever I walked into the living room with the vacuum machine and loved to push it around when I was not looking. Ralphie had a humongous thing he loved to lounge on – something between a pillow and an ottoman. “I had given up on trying to take it away from him and wash the cover”, admitted Mary.
That would not do. So one day, I decided to deal with the problem head-on. I had finished all my chores, walked into the living room and stood before Ralphie, hands on my hips. “Ralphie, get up!” He looked at me first, then pretended to ignore me. “Ralphie, I will clean this pillow whether you like it or not! Now move your behind!” He wouldn’t budge. But I had found an unfair advantage. It turned out everybody’s favourite Newf loved Lays’ baked paprika chips. I picked a bag from my backpack and demonstratively opened it. The rascal immediately perched up and started for the chips. Mary had permitted me to give him some, so I poured a third of the bag into his can. It gave me all the time I needed! I quickly removed the pillow cover and threw it into the washing machine.
At first, Ralphie was cross with me, but it turned out he liked the smell of freshly washed pillow better than the old one. We have been best friends ever since.
Naughty German Shepherd Stealing My Microfibre Cloths
Pets usually do not interfere with my cleaning work, but Elsa was different. She was the 2-year-old German Shepherd of one of my regular customers, living in Fulham. Maybe it was because she was still relatively young, but Elsa was a walking piece of mischief. She was full of energy and always wanted to play, but I had work to do.
One day, I was scheduled to clean the large living room windows overlooking the backyard. I had prepared my glass cleaner and microfibre cloth and left them on a small coffee table. But before that, I had to finish polishing the kitchen sink, which would hardly take me more than a couple of minutes. When I was back, the microfibre cloth was gone. It was my third cleaning visit for the day, and I had had a busy, overscheduled week. Was I going insane? Had I left the cloth on the table or only intended to do it? I wasn’t in the mood to look for it, so I simply picked a new one from the backpack and went to work.
When I arrived for the next visit, my customer said she had found the microfibre cloth under the sofa. “I think I know who the perpetrator is”, she said with a laugh and nodded towards Elsa, who looked at us as innocently as ever.
The Funniest Parrot In Hammersmith
As you might have already assumed from the two stories above, I love dogs. But the funniest story involving pets in my work is about Jack. Jack is an Amazon parrot named after Johnny Depp’s iconic character from Pirates of the Caribbean. He is a naughty green cutie with a foul mouth that has brought me to tears of laughter on more than one occasion.
His owner Ben, a software engineer and a bachelor in his early thirties, was living in a fantastic apartment on Rainville Road in Hammersmith. He was the “dream customer” – polite, punctual, without exorbitant demands. When we first met, his only worry was his room mate’s behaviour. “Look, I love to watch South Park and listen to stand-up comedians when I am at home. As you can imagine, Jack is soaking everything and has no filter. I apologise in advance.”
What a sweet and considerate thing to say! Ben is a true gentleman! Jack isn’t. Whenever he sees me, he says something like “Nice rack!” or “Shake that ass, baby!”. He is so funny! But his killer line is, “Drugs are bad! Drugs are bad! Elise, drugs are bad!” How am I supposed to remain serious?